I create Miracles!

So last night I medicated myself with half a bottle of Magic Shell caramel topping, you know, that stuff that hardens both vanilla bean ice cream AND arteries?? I was feeling gloomy and uninspired. After the ice cream ran out, you'd think I woulda stopped, but no, oh no, I can improvise like no other. I discovered that if you pour the Magic Shell onto a tablespoon and then pop it in the freezer, it hardens beautifully and the binge can continue. Half an hour later, lulled into a sugar and corn oil stupor, I plopped myself down on the bed fully realizing that I'd better do something fast or I was gonna decend into Depressionland, and that is NEVER a fun journey.

A few years ago I discovered www.vitalaffirmations.com, a site that provides affirmation 'cards' that can be shuffled and drawn. I love this site and it is delightfully eerie how the card that comes up corresponds to whatever lesson Spirit is choosing to teach me...and damn if there doesn't seem to be a lesson every day. So I wipe off the excess crispy caramel shell from my fingers and pull up the site feeling kinda sheepish, like when Lily the dog chews a library book and then brings it to me, knowing she's a bad bad girl.

Now wouldn't you know that last night I drew this card: "I am creating MIRACLES." Yippee! (sarcasm implied) I am a miracle creator, not just a sandwich with Miracle Whip creator. (A comedian I am not, apparantly)

Of course, last night, I didn't wanna hear that shit. I wanted to be coddled and babied by my sweet sweet Tina and I did NOT want to do any spiritual work. So I ignored said card, and pouted to Tina and fell asleep in her warm and safe arms.
But dear loving Spirit wasn't gonna take no for an answer, and all night I had magical dreams and peaceful manifestations and joyful impressions and I woke up H.A.P.P.Y! Now,I wrestle with depression, and too often I wake up paralyzed with guilt and grief, wanting to hide from the world, so imagine my delight at feeling something other fear, especially after the binge night I had...Talk about a friggin Miracle.

Then it hit me. I create Miracles DESPITE myself. Spirit is so powerful, that it overrides my self destructive ways! I create Miracles. I am Powerful even if I fall, or ignore Spirit, or make crappy choices. I am E.M.P.O.W.E.R.E.D! PS..I have decided that these flower shoes are my new Miracle Stillettos. I shall wear them as I create Miracles!

BTW, above Crazy Girl Leprechaun photo is from one of Lee and Tree's awesome soirees. I'm a March baby so I got to be part of the birthday cake celebration. I think this captures my love/hate with food perfectly! I haven't been allowed to hold a knife since.