The 9 Days Of My Birthday

I am not going to waste precious blog space explaining why I haven't blogged since November 2010. Everyone who knows me (and the one person who will read this-ha!)knows that I have been super busy learning Arabic, and playing mahjong with the upstairs neighbor, and raising turtles and coaxing Tina into buying me stuff...you know ordinary things in the Rivera-Jolly household. heh heh

Well here I am again, blogging about the second most important thing in the world ever: MY BIRTHDAY! Yes, the blessed event is 9 days away and I am busy TRUSTING my wife to plan a wonderful weekend of festivities and gay-ity. I hope she doesn't get me this cake. Again.
I have decided to celebrate the 9 days of my birthday by creating delightful scavenger hunts for Tina. Today I shall start with a Chocodile. Because "It takes awhile, to eat a Chocodile." Which is false advertising because it has never taken me long to scarf one. Or two. Or seven.
Good luck Tina, I expect it by the end of the business day.

Oh, the fun in coming up with tomorrow's obscure desire.

On the mom front: Annah has just declared that she has decided to become Canadian. Now before we ooh and ahh about her desire for good national health care, or the ability for her dear moms to marry, be forewarned that it is only because The Bieber himself was hatched there, and that she has fallen in love with this spread that we used to be able to get at Costco, but we now hear is only available in Canada:

We are applying for her passport now.

Micah decided to read Harry Potter instead of working on his math, so his grounding remains firm. Let's collectively shake our head over Micah's tomfoolery. Micah, dear son, what would Sue Sylvester say???
Well, I'm off to snuggle with Tina and catch a few episodes of Prison Break on Netflix. And eat my Chocodile. Best believe.

"I'm gonna wash them toxins right outta my hair"

Today I woke excited and ready for a new week. It's week 2 of Cleanse, we are starting our much anticipated Philosophy course, and life is good. Speaking of Cleanse, yesterday was T.O.U.G.H. Super tough. (So I just noticed that tough can also be written as to-ugh, or "too ugh", and thats how I felt yesterday: way too ugh. Ugh.) I was eliminating toxins and I was sick sick sick. And the lovely news is that week 2 is gonna be even worse. Thank God for Tina. She is so supportive.
To be honest, Tina's love is the reason I'm working so hard to get Clean. We have a wonderful relationship most of the time, but I have seen how my mood swings, and depression, and physical weakness, and lack of drive and energy have made me less then my best. I want to be better for us. So that we can live "long and prosper".
Did I mention what a Star Trek geek I am? And please enjoy this delightful pic of Obama:


DEE-lightful.

Ok, back on topic. I want to be the best for myself and my children, but mostly for my wife. She deserves the best me she can have. After years of searching, I found Her, and I never ever want to be without her.


Here's a tissue in case you wanna cry along with me about how touched I am that I have Tina.
That's enough. Dry your eyes, please.

Now, the Rivera-Jollys are in the process of removing toxins from ALL areas our lives, and this week we are phasing out unnatural body products and replacing them with their natural counterparts. Makes sense right? I mean why fill our bodies with organic toxin-free foods and then slather toxic gunk on our skin??? So here are a few things we are using now:


Good times.

Ok here's the funny story of the day. Annah and I were in Whole Foods and we were looking at skin brushes (they are used in the shower to "motivate" the toxins to leave the cells. EXCELLENT for removing cellulite. True story.) Well this particular one had a massager on one side and the bristles on the other. So Annah reads the package and sees that there is "no testing on animals". So she turns to me and says "You know, I bet the animals wouldn't mind being tested on with THIS massager". We LOL'd for a while at that one. Silly Annah.
Speaking of silly Annah, we found these yummy bars:Whole grain goodness in a colorful package. What more could we ask for. I TOLD you life was good.

Until next time...

The quote of the day is by Socrates: "An unexamined life is not worth living." May I carefully examine my life. Today and always. 'Cept right now I'm bout to go "examine" this salmon Micah is baking...

Chai Tea and Frida Kahlo

Today we cleaned the carpets. Correction, Tina cleaned them. I watched. Correction, I provided a refreshing beverage and moral support. Yeah. That.

I got a headache from the chemicals in the carpet cleaners. Who knew TOXINS are everywhere?

On a happier note, I am now officially smoke and caffeine FREE. Woohoo on the first and boohoo on the second. I heart drinking coffee, the smell, the warmth, the way it makes me feel cozy. But I'm also loving my new concoction: decaf chai tea, with almond milk and agave sweetener. Me likey.
And heck, after Cleanse, I may have a cup of decaf once in awhile, especially if it's Coco's Dunkin Donuts blend and we are sitting in her and Black's sunroom. Good times.

But my caffeine addiction had gotten outta hand. I used to drink coffee and ice tea all day, and if I didn't drink it when I first got out of bed I'd develop a headache that would knock me out the rest of the day. And the headaches had gotten so bad that I was popping Excedrin every day, upping the dosages when I'd get no relief. Sigh.

Now the desire for cigarettes and caffeine is gone. No side effects either. If I get nothing else but this from this adventure in Cleanse, I've succeeded.

In other news, the kids and I are studying the art of Frida Kahlo. She's such a spicy senorita. Here's a great story about her feisty-ness: When meeting Henry Ford (a known anti-Semite and Nazi supporter) she coquettishly asked him if he was Jewish! LOVE IT! Ooh, and another time she jumped up in the middle of a party and said she had to go shave, which is HI-larious cause she was known for her unibrow.
She could totally hang out with me and my peeps anytime. In fact, I SINCERELY believe we are related and here's proof. We have a black and white photo of Frida on our bookcase and one of my young employees came over and asked if the photo was of my grandmother! heh heh Frida kinda looks like she has a lazy eye, too, which would fit in right in with us...hmmmm.

All kidding aside, she is amazing.
I could go on and on.

But I'm not, I'm gonna watch a movie with Tina and eat homemade applesauce! Yes, Micah made some yesterday...he cut and cored apples, threw them in the crock pot, added agave sweetener, some lemon juice and cinnamon, turned them on low and 6-7 hours later we had THE best applesauce I've ever eaten. Micah rocks. I could go on and on.

Happy Terrific Tina Tuesday!!!

For you that are new to the international phenomenon that this blog has become, (heh heh) here's a quick summary of Terrific Tina Tuesday. It's pretty simple. The day is to honor how terrific Tina is. And she IS pretty terrific. And pretty. Plus, who can forget my riveting argument for lonely Tuesday needing something marvelous to celebrate. Put them together and you get Terrific Tina Tuesday.

So to celebrate, I made Tina her very favorite quinoa breakfast dish. I cooked the quinoa last night and let it get cold in the fridge overnight. Quinoa is magic. It's got a nutritional resume that's so good it's actually kinda spooky. I am going to devote a whole post soon to quinoa, its that amazing. Set your DVR, please.

Back to celebratory breakfast: I mix the cold quinoa with almond milk, agave nectar, and a teeny bit of cinnamon. Then I add raisins, or dried cranberries, and walnuts and whatever else yummy we may have on hand. Today I added some granola. Granola fans, you must check out this granola we're using. Its HEAVENly tasting and so full of the stuff we need: spelt, kamut, quinoa, amaranth and almonds.
It does have some cane sugar, so we only use a little bit. The health benefits of the good grains outweigh the trace amount of sugar. I'm learning life is about balance.

P.S. Tina was Terrifically Thankful for her breakfast

I woke up feeling pretty yucky today. I AM PURGING TOXINS LIKE CRAZY. Me no likey. I spent the night either pooping or coughing. Ew. But the exciting thing is that the toxins are LEAVING my body. Because I am part Magyver and part Martha Stewart, I whipped together a homeopathic cough syrup to help expel the toxic phlegm. I let three garlic cloves sit in a solution of honey and whiskey. Then I drank it. It was so gross!!! OMG GROSS. But damn if it didn't WORK. I'm a belieber, um, believer.
Here's a fun pic of M. Stewart and Mr T to make us all giggle:

Tina's off today, so we are taking a much needed day of rest and goofing off.

Funny story: One of the Tiny Baby Kitties chewed through a few pages of the Clean book. Tina says it's cause Tiny Baby Kitty thinks she is what she eats.

Thats all for now. Pip pip, cheerio.

The Cleanse Part 2

The wait for Part 2 is over, friends. At last I shall unveil the remainder of our Clean eating plan. Please, no rushing or crowding, women and small children first. (heh heh)

Ok so last time we were together I was being tempting and tantalizing with fresh veggies and hummus. Yummer, as Tina would say and then I look at her with That Look and say "who says yummer anymore" and she'd say ME and then shove some hummus in her mouth. True story.

So to continue from yesterday:
Lunch time at the Rivera-Jollys goes a little something like this: an organic protein source and vegetables. So we've had salmon and veggies, and turkey burger patties and veggies, and veggie burgers and veggies...key word here: VEGGIES, as Tina would say and then I look at her with That Look and say "who says veggies anymore" and she'd say ME and then shove some hummus in her mouth. Another true story.

For lunch today we mixed it up a little. Micah whipped up an EXTRAORDINARY omlette with cage-free brown eggs and -you guessed it- veggies! Here's the recipie:

Take eggs, red, green and yellow bell peppers, lots of garlic, spinach, goat cheese and omlette 'em up in olive oil. A new Rivera-Jolly classic.
Again, we eat slowly and Mindfully. We thank our food for nourishing us.

Then it's supplement time. Can anyone say "horse pills?" Tina probably would and then I'd have to give her That Look and say "who says horse pills anymore" and, well, you know what happens next....

Here's a few things we are taking. Vitamin D, C, garlic, fish oil, probiotics, spirulina, papaya enzymes..And of course I pay attention to the dosages for the kids. No hate mail. Again. (heh heh)
This is an awesome liquid calcium supplement we are taking.
It tastes like blueberry chalk, but it's magical.

A few hours later we snack on cut up fruit that we dip in plain organic greek yogurt blended with a little agave sweetner. OMG IF YOU HAVE NOT TRIED AGAVE NECTAR YOU MUST!!! WE LOVE IT SO MUCH AND KNOW WE WILL NEVER EVER USE SUGAR AGAIN. SO WONDERFUL! You can all expect to get some for Christmas.

Before dinner we will drink some detox tea. I love this one by the Republic of Tea:

Dinner is fish and more veggies, or a protein smoothie, or a vegetable soup with brown rice. Then a few hours later we snack on raw almonds, or hummus, or more soup.

So there it is. The Rivera-Jolly Cleanse in all it's glory. Thanks for riding along.
By the way, after only four days, here's what I look like:
(heh heh)

The Cleanse Part 1

Well, my original plan was to post our cleansing progress daily, but I've been SO BUSY releasing toxins (ha ha) that I haven't had time to collect my thoughts and try and present them in an entertaining montage of words and pictures. So, sorry kids, but this post may be as dry as the turkey burgers patties we've been eating. Just kidding. About the turkey burgers being dry, that is. Micah using this amazing ginger marinade and they've be dee-licious.

Ahh, Cleanse. I both love and despise you! At times, when the toxins are coming out, and the headaches are overwhelming, and I think I'm gonna pass out from not having coffee and cigarettes and chocolate, and I'm a cranky cranky wench, I DESPISE YOU.
But there are these amazing moments of clarity, bursts of incredible energy, lack of pain in my joints, I LOVE YOU.
My brain is clearer, my cellulite is disappearing, depression is lifting and I feel amazing.

The kids, bless their little bodies, are doing so well, I am seeing them fresher, and more energetic.

But damn, if this isn't HARD. We are changing the entire way we think about food, prepare our food, eat our food. Nothing just gets shoved into our pie holes anymore, or guzzled down. We are deliberate and mindful of each bite with take.

Here is our basic diet, we aim for 75% of our food to be raw and as well as organic.

In the morning we make a smoothie with almond milk/flax seed/hemp powder/coconut water/yogurt and fruit. We sip it. Slowly.
Then pure water all day long. Lots of water is key for flushing out the toxins.The aim is to pee every hour. Good times. My water is enhanced with electrolytes to help with the headaches (Thanks TK for the hint, it sure is working) Coconut water (while pretty yucky on its own) has been helping too. I hide it in the smoothies and no one is the wiser! (evil laugh)Snack is unsalted raw almonds, or hummus and veggies. Yum.
Well, that's Part 1 folks. I made sure to leave you a plate of hummus as a crazy cliffhanger...how can you now not return for part 2?

Operation Vibrant Health

We are going CLEAN!! No, we are not gonna curb our potty mouths, and it's not like we don't shower now and are finally gonna start. Nope, the Rivera-Jollys (or Jollyeras wink wink) are taking our health to a new level. And for us, that means a -drum roll please- THE CLEANSE!

Tina and I have been moving closer and closer to VIBRANT HEALTH in our mental, physical and spiritual lives. We really feel focused on the mental and the spiritual. We are centered and loving and prosperous and gloriously happy, even in the midst of crisis.

Which leaves the physical. Groan. I do believe our innards are clogged with about three pounds of Milk Duds. And am I the only one who notices that my ass looks bigger with every picture that's posted? Our joints hurt, allergies are knocking us off our keister, our clothes fit too tight, and we DONT WANT TO SMOKE anymore. Our moms died from cancer and we don't want to follow their path. We've finally found each other and we want to live together in health for a long long time. After all, we've got to spend our granddaughter Tina-Erika Bieber's money.

Here's a pic of our future son-in-law chucking the deuce at his mom-in-laws.

I think I had that same cardigan in high school. Sigh.

Now back to The Cleanse.

So we've decided to model our cleanse after a book we found called "CLEAN: Remove*Restore*Rejuvenate: The Revolutionary Program to Restore the Body's Natural Ability to Heal Itself" by Alejandro Junger M.D

Here's a picture of Dr. J with prison and shortbread cookie guru Martha S, which I'm still not sure ups his cred or not.

Ok, here's what I'm digging about Dr J: he teaches that there are many ways to cleanse and that we should choose a way that works for our lifestyle, our budget and our level of motivation. He's got some great things to say about health, some I knew and some new stuff. That makes me happy.
Basically, it works like this: you eliminate harmful foods and drinks and replenish with helpful foods and drinks. There ya have it folks.

We've been planning this CLEAN for a few weeks. We've stocked the kitchen with pure water, organic fruits and vegetables, agave syrup, greek yogurt, organic
fish and all the other goodies we are going to be using. We've set our intention.
Here's a pic of our pantry:
No just kidding, it's not. It's probably Martha S'...

So the kids have been listening to us talk talk talk about Operation Vibrant Health and they told us they want to CLEAN too, so we've modified the program a little to support their nutritional needs.

Im so excited. I could go on and on. Now, we've been warned that we may get headaches, and be moody while the toxins leave our body, but once we are clean, we will experience health of a whole new level.

I will be using this forum to post our progress and our challanges. Be warned that I may use the word poop. Alot.